[Grumpasaurus.com] You want 2012 Sarah?

'You want 2012 Sarah?'

Ah’ll be your huckleberry

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/30/you-want-2012-sarah/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't love me that much

'Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't love me that much'

Please, Sarah, run in 2012. I’m begging you. Pleeeeeeeeeaaaase. It would be like Fitzmas all over again, only this time with the entire destruction of the GOP under my tree.

VARGAS: But the point being that you haven’t been so bruised by some of the double standard, the sexism on the campaign trail, to say, “I’ve had it. I’m going back to Alaska.”

PALIN: Absolutely not. I think that, if I were to give up and wave a white flag of surrender against some of the political shots that we’ve taken, that … that would … bring this whole … I’m not doin’ this for naught.

As a side note, the entire circular firing squad in the GOP rat’s nest going on right now is a thing of beauty. This massive implosion, embarrassment, and extreme displays of cowardice couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of choda scrubbers. That Palin has gone rogue and is using McCain’s carcass for a national run and that McCain obviously blames her for everything up to and including the soon-to-be loss (except, of course, for his pick of her in the first place) is just icing on the cake.

Stay classy, GOP.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/29/flying-spaghetti-monster-doesnt-love-me-that-much/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Ever Notice

'Ever Notice'

How all voter suppression activities stem from Republicans?

A phony State Board of Elections flier advising Republicans to vote on Nov. 4 and Democrats on Nov. 5 is being circulated in several Hampton Roads localities, according to state elections officials.

This happens every cycle - some flier comes out in minority/black/poor neighborhoods either giving a wrong location, date, or threats of arrest/seizure/investigation should the darkies show up.

and remember, change means …. BLACK!!!!!

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/28/ever-notice/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Wingnut Pollgasm

'Wingnut Pollgasm'

I SO hope right blogistan takes over the reconstruction of the GOP.

1) Who do you think is going to win the election?

A) John McCain: 53% (39)
B) Barack Obama: 47% (34)

2) Do you think Sarah Palin has been a plus or a minus to the ticket?

A) Minus: 9% (7)
B) Plus: 91% (68)

3) How do you feel about Sarah Palin as a candidate?

A) I really like her!: 80% (61)
B) She’s so-so.: 12% (9)
C) I’m not a big fan!: 8% (6)

4) The Republican Party did poorly in the 2006 election and even if McCain wins is on track to do poorly again in this year’s Congressional races. If you had to choose between these two options, do you think that’s because they were…

A) Too conservative: 9% (7)
B) Not conservative enough: 91% (67)

5) Do you believe the mainstream media’s coverage has been…

A) Relatively fair and even handed.: 0% (0)
B) Slightly biased in favor of Barack Obama.: 4% (3)
C) Slightly biased in favor of John McCain.: 0% (0)
D) Heavily biased in favor of Barack Obama.: 96% (72)
E) Heavily biased in favor of John McCain.: 0% (0)

6) Do you think Barack Obama is…

A) Honest (Yes or no?)

Yes: 11% (8)
No: 89% (66)

B) Patriotic (Yes or no?)

Yes: 24% (18)
No: 76% (57)

C) Qualified to be President (Yes or no?)

Yes: 12% (9)
No: 88% (66)

Guaranteed permanent Democrat majority!

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/28/wingnut-pollgasm/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Nailin' Palin, a Reading

'Nailin' Palin, a Reading'

A straight reading of the Nailin Paylin script on the Graham Norton Show.

That’s also the first indication I’ve seen that Thandie Newton can act.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/28/nailin-palin-a-reading/

[Grumpasaurus.com] They Grow 'em Corrupt up Alaska Way

'They Grow 'em Corrupt up Alaska Way'

Stevens guilty on all 7 counts

U.S. Senator Ted Stevens was convicted of all seven felony charges of failing to report gifts from a company in his home state of Alaska, a possibly fatal blow to the career of the Senate’s longest-serving Republican.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/27/they-grow-em-corrupt-up-alaska-way/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Senator Joe Biden is my Homeboy

'Senator Joe Biden is my Homeboy'

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/27/senator-joe-biden-is-my-homeboy/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Wasssup ... 8 Years Later

'Wasssup ... 8 Years Later'

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/26/wasssup-8-years-later/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Wingnut Tawana Brawley

'Wingnut Tawana Brawley'

Of course it was a fake

A campaign worker who claimed she was the victim of a politically-motivated attack in which she was beaten, kicked and cut, now admits that she made the whole story up.

According to Pittsburgh police spokeswoman Diane Richard, Ashley Todd, 20, told investigators today that she “was not robbed and there was no 6′4″ black male attacker.”

Todd initially told police that she was robbed at an ATM in Bloomfield Wednesday night and that the suspect began beating her after seeing a John McCain bumper sticker on her car.

Todd claimed that the mugger even cut a backwards letter “B” in her check.

But today investigators say Todd confessed that the attack never happened.

At a news conference this afternoon, officials said they believe that Todd’s injuries were self-inflicted.

What a dumbass. A dumbass with issues. Get some therapy before you waste the world’s time again.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/24/wingnut-tawana-brawley/

[Grumpasaurus.com] That Wardrobe Budget was Necessary

'That Wardrobe Budget was Necessary'

Seriously. Palin dresses like a blind Church o’ Christer. A blind, cold Church o’ Christer.

Unless you’re having an affair on your yacht with a model (and given that flag-draped picture and Palin’s known indiscretions, she might have been), there’s no way that look plays in the Halls of Power.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/24/that-wardrobe-budget-was-necessary/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Prayer Warriors

'Prayer Warriors'

So sez Caribou Barbie Palin

She also thanked her supporters — including Dobson, who said he and his wife were asking "for God's intervention" on election day — for their prayers of support.

"It is that intercession that is so needed," she said. "And so greatly appreciated. And I can feel it too, Dr. Dobson. I can feel the power of prayer, and that strength that is provided through our prayer warriors across this nation. And I so appreciate it."

So… I’m guessing Sarracuda isn’t one of those Jesus-the-lamb types. We probably already knew that.

Given this and her $150,000 on campaign clothes, she’s a perfect fit for a televangelist. I see her taking over the 700 club and taking the place, not of Tammy Faye, but of Robertson. There’s another glass ceiling to shatter!

Note also:

In an interview posted online Wednesday, Sarah Palin told Dr. James Dobson of "Focus on the Family" that she is confident God will do "the right thing for America" on Nov. 4.

I’m looking forward to Palin and the Dobson brigade’s admission on Nov 5th, after Barack Obama has been elected, that God did “the right thing for America.”

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/23/prayer-warriors/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Welcome to Your Post-Racial America pt. 2

'Welcome to Your Post-Racial America pt. 2'

Well I’m certainly proud to be a citizen of the same country as the shitbricks shown in this video.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/21/welcome-to-your-post-racial-america-pt-2/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Welcome to Your Post-Racial America

'Welcome to Your Post-Racial America'

The Star of David on the head is a nice touch.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/21/welcome-to-your-post-racial-america/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Sedaris on Undecideds

'Sedaris on Undecideds'

Nails ‘em!

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?"

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I’ve long thought that anyone undecided at this stage, particularly in this or the previous two elections, should lose their suffrage. They’ve abandoned their basic duties as citizens and/or are simply too stupid to breathe. That description is, of course, identical to that of your average GOP voter, only without all of the book burning. The focus on undecideds is silly - it’s a panderfest for people who eat paste.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/21/sedaris-on-undecideds/

[Grumpasaurus.com] McCarthy has a new name

'McCarthy has a new name '

and she is Michelle “I heart Bush big time” Bachmann

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/17/mccarthy-has-a-new-name/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Hey, it's that busted racist again

'Hey, it's that busted racist again'

Remember him? He makes a cameo here among the rage filled hatemonkeys

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/16/hey-its-that-busted-racist-again/

[Grumpasaurus.com] This pretty much sums up the debate

'This pretty much sums up the debate'

and John McKKKain’s campaign

I hope you didn’t have “Joe the Plumber” in the pool for your drinking game, my friends.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/16/this-pretty-much-sums-up-the-debate/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Talk to your parents about John McCain

'Talk to your parents about John McCain'

Because apparently I’m on a young person kick

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/15/talk-to-your-parents-about-john-mccain/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Vote for McCain

'Vote for McCain'

Because it makes hot 18-year olds drop the F-bomb

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/15/vote-for-mccain/

[Grumpasaurus.com] You're so busted, racist

'You're so busted, racist'

Watch CBS Videos Online

Trying to play it off once you’re caught on camera? Giving the stuffed animal to a little kid and acting like it’s a gift?

That, my friends, is someone unashamed and unafraid to boldly proclaim in public that which they believe in private, a true a glorious example of the Republican brand of courage.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/13/youre-so-busted-racist/

[Grumpasaurus.com] I've got your fair and balanced right here

'I've got your fair and balanced right here'

subliminal version

… also, illegal!

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/13/ive-got-your-fair-and-balanced-right-here/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Philly Phantastic

'Philly Phantastic'

Caribou Barbie goes to Philly and, unsurprisingly, gets boo’d like she was a Marine recruiter at a Young Republicans convention

It looks like Palin was in full Operation Human Shield mode as well. Typical cowardly Republican.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/11/philly-phantastic/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Cheney in a skirt! Cheney in a skirt!

'Cheney in a skirt! Cheney in a skirt!'

Troopergate Friday document dump reveals…

Finding Number One

For the reasons explained in section IV of this report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.110(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act. Alaska Statute 39.52.110(a) provides

The legislature reaffirms that each public officer holds office as a public trust, and any effort to benefit a personal or financial interest through official action is a violation of that trust.

Heckuva choice there, McCain

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/11/cheney-in-a-skirt-cheney-in-a-skirt/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Sarah Palin's Body Language And Why It Should Worry You

'Sarah Palin's Body Language And Why It Should Worry You'

Good stuff from the HuffPo

In our work we call body language the Five Flags, because there are five major ways human beings react when they’re not speaking the authentic truth. Twitches and jaw-clenches are examples of Flag #1, Body-Flags. To understand Sarah Palin, though, you need to understand Flags #2 and #3, Voice-Flags and Attitude-Flags. The English word ‘personality’ comes from two Latin words, per and sona, “through sound.” The Romans knew that the personality comes through in the tone of voice and other vocal aspects.

From thirty-five years of clinical experience, we can tell you a lot about Sarah Palin’s real personality and why it makes many people even more nervous that John McCain’s.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/10/sarah-palins-body-language-and-why-it-should-worry-you/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Domestic Terrorists

'Domestic Terrorists'

Sarah Palin haz dem

Though Chryson belongs to a fringe political party, one that advocates the secession of Alaska from the Union, and that organizes with other like-minded secessionist movements from Canada to the Deep South, he is not without peculiar influence in state politics, especially the rise of Sarah Palin. An obscure figure outside of Alaska, Chryson has been a political fixture in the hometown of the Republican vice-presidential nominee for over a decade. During the 1990s, when Chryson directed the AIP, he and another radical right-winger, Steve Stoll, played a quiet but pivotal role in electing Palin as mayor of Wasilla and shaping her political agenda afterward. Both Stoll and Chryson not only contributed to Palin's campaign financially, they played major behind-the-scenes roles in the Palin camp before, during and after her victory.

Palin backed Chryson as he successfully advanced a host of anti-tax, pro-gun initiatives, including one that altered the state Constitution's language to better facilitate the formation of anti-government militias. She joined in their vendetta against several local officials they disliked, and listened to their advice about hiring. She attempted to name Stoll, a John Birch Society activist known in the Mat-Su Valley as "Black Helicopter Steve," to an empty Wasilla City Council seat. "Every time I showed up her door was open," said Chryson. "And that policy continued when she became governor."
…
"The AIP is very family-oriented," Chryson explained. "We're for the traditional family — daddy, mommy, kids — because we all know that it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. And we don't care if Heather has two mommies. That's not a traditional family."

Chryson further streamlined the AIP's platform by softening its secessionist language. Instead of calling for immediate separation from the United States, the platform now demands a vote on independence.

Yet Chryson maintains that his party remains committed to full independence. "The Alaskan Independence Party has got links to almost every independence-minded movement in the world," Chryson exclaimed. "And Alaska is not the only place that's about separation. There's at least 30 different states that are talking about some type of separation from the United States."

oh, and they still have her ear

Emboldened by his nomination by Mayor Palin, Stoll later demanded she fire Wasilla's museum director, John Cooper, a personal enemy he longed to sabotage. Palin obliged, eliminating Cooper's position in short order. "Gotcha, Cooper!" Stoll told the deposed museum director after his termination, as Cooper told a reporter for the New York Times. "And it only cost me a campaign contribution." Stoll, who donated $1,000 to Palin's mayoral campaign, did not respond to numerous requests for an interview. Palin has blamed budget concerns for Cooper's departure.
…
Chryson says the door remains open now that Palin is governor. (Palin's office did not respond to Salon's request for an interview.) While Palin has been more circumspect in her dealings with groups like the AIP as she has risen through the political ranks, she has stayed in touch.

When Palin ran for governor in 2006, marketing herself as a fresh-faced reformer determined to crush the GOP's ossified power structure, she made certain to appear at the AIP's state convention. To burnish her maverick image, she also tapped one-time AIP member and born-again Republican Walter Hickel as her campaign co-chair. Hickel barnstormed the state for Palin, hailing her support for an "all-Alaska" liquefied gas pipeline, a project first promoted in 2002 by an AIP gubernatorial candidate named Nels Anderson. When Palin delivered her victory speech on election night, Hickel stood beaming by her side. "I made her governor," he boasted afterward. Two years later, Hickel has endorsed Palin's bid for vice president.

Help keep this crazy unamerican hick yahoo Talibanistafrom get ahold or near the reins of power

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/10/domestic-terrorists/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Looks like the Straight Talk Express

'Looks like the Straight Talk Express'

is about to meet the Troopergate Corruption Freight Train

The Alaska Supreme Court refused to halt an investigation into Governor Sarah Palin’s firing of the state police chief, paving the way for tomorrow’s planned release of the findings.

The Supreme Court dismissed the case brought by five state Republican lawmakers who sought to stop the probe, claiming it was unconstitutional and tainted by partisan politics. The investigation, known as Troopergate, took on national importance after Republican presidential nominee John McCain picked Palin as his running mate.

The Alaska Legislative Council, a bipartisan committee of 14 lawmakers that conducts business when the Legislature isn’t in session, voted unanimously on July 31 to investigate Palin’s July 11 firing of Alaska Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. The commissioner said he was dismissed for refusing to fire state trooper Mike Wooten, who was involved in a divorce and custody battle with Palin’s sister.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/09/looks-like-the-straight-talk-express/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Ladies and Gents...

'Ladies and Gents...'

Your McCain/Palin supporters

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/09/ladies-and-gents/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Eastwood's lost it

'Eastwood's lost it'

or he’s thinking with another brain

CLINT Eastwood made it clear who won last week’s vice-presidential debate in an interview he did Saturday as part of The New Yorker Festival with the magazine’s legendary Lillian Ross.

“One of the candidates the other night seemed more prone to telling the truth than the other,” Eastwood said. The cheese-and-Chardonnay crowd laughed, presumably because they thought he meant Joe Biden.

But the laughs among the 300 worshipful movie buffs at the Directors Guild theater dried up when Ross interjected, “I liked her, too!”

Eastwood went on to talk about how well “she” did, although he stopped short of a ringing endorsement.

Yes, I know he’s a Republican, but he’s generally been a straight shooter in the past. Palin is a pathological liar on a grander scale than BushMcCain and equal to Cheney. She’s an empty suit with no morals, ethics, integrity, or grasp of the english language. Maybe that’s it. Maybe she’s just so idiotic that she doesn’t realize lying does not make the words become true.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/09/eastwoods-lost-it/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Back when the Big Dog was the Big Dog

'Back when the Big Dog was the Big Dog'

Man, he was good.

… and far better then than what he has become now

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/08/back-when-the-big-dog-was-the-big-dog/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Debate Drinking Game

'Debate Drinking Game'

If you had either “my friends” or “crisis” in your DRINK! pool, you’re probably unable to read this post right about now.

I had “my friends.”

Dude! I am so hammered

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/07/debate-drinking-game/

[Grumpasaurus.com] So McCain's Going Full-on Smear, eh?

'So McCain's Going Full-on Smear, eh?'

One word: Keating

I like that Obama’s taken the Chicago way to heart

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/06/so-mccains-going-full-on-smear-eh/

[Grumpasaurus.com] Interview Sarah Palin

'Interview Sarah Palin'

While stretching my jaw in anticipation of having it drop open frequently at tomorrow’s debate, I ran into Interview Sarah Palin - where you, too, can preread completely random gibberish that may … or may not… be entirely computer generated.

Compare it to a verbatim interview and you come back and tell me the Interview site doesn’t make more sense. And have a higher IQ.

http://grumpasaurus.com/2008/10/01/interview-sarah-palin/